Grandma and Grandpa

My sister-in-law Janelle had this really cute idea and I want to share it. There are 6 kids in Ryan's family and we are all married with our own kids. So we all had to take a picture with a letter and then she put all the letters together and it spelled out Grandma, and another spelled out Grandpa. It was for Father's Day and my mother-in-law's birthday. Check it out.

Where's Nolan?

My friend Lacy went to Girl's Camp for our church this week and I watched her 2 kids for two days. I had the brilliant idea of taking all 5 kids swimming! Two one and a half year olds, and a 4, 5, and 7 year old. Only the 7 year old can swim. What was I thinking?! My friend Laura said she would do it with me, along with her two young kids. I apologize Lacy, it wasn't the smartest idea. It all turned out fine though. But it was so funny when we were leaving, I was a bit frazzled after constantly trying to keep track of everyone, and I couldn't find Nolan (the other one and a half year old). We were walking out and I was looking everywhere for him and couldn't see him and was getting nervous and was yelling out, "Where's Nolan?!" Laura looked over at me and said, "He's in your arms." Well, thank goodness for that.

Summer

Oh my, the list of blog entries is growing much too long, I need to write about our summer! We have had such a great summer so far and I can't believe we're half way over already. That makes me a little sad. I just love the freedom that summer brings, the time with my boys, and all the summer fruits! I go crazy for fresh fruits, especially watermelon, YUM! And I have some of my boys hooked as well!

I keep lists on sticky note paper of all the little funny goings-ons in my home, and here are a few of them...

A couple weeks ago, Seth wore a shirt to church that clips under the crotch. You know the kind that little ones wear so their shirt always looks like it's tucked in. He never does that anymore, so when Trey and Justin saw it they thought it was so funny because it really showed off his cute little belly bulge. They called him little Grandpa all day, I guess they have the same bellies!

Justin will often do something like not pee entirely in the toilet, but on the seat and the floor, and when that happens, it doesn't make me very happy. So I'll say something to him and he seems to always say, "I sorry mama." How can I be mad at that? So sweet.

One day I was telling Trey that Schade, that's my maiden name, means "too bad" in German. He said, "I'm glad I don't have that last name!" What's so funny is that he has no idea at all what his own last name means, Dickman!

Yesterday Justin was getting out of the tub and said, "Put a little dime in the jukebox baby..." And I couldn't figure out what he was talking about! He still refers to Seth as "baby" so I thought he was talking to him. Then I heard him say, "I love rock n' roll" and quickly I realized he was quoting lyrics. It was so funny, these boys listen to all kinds of music with Ryan!

These stories are more funny if you know Justin, because you just wouldn't expect him to say these things. Here's another story...Seth took Justin's little racecar and Justin was chasing him saying, "You little rascal!" Apparently that's what my mom says all the time and that's where they got that, I didn't know she always says that.

About 3 months ago if Ryan ever had sports on TV, Trey would walk over and turn the TV off, he hated it. Well, practically over night, he LOVES to watch them all! If something is on, he's GLUED to the TV. He loved the World Cup and was so excited when Spain won! That's where Ryan and I served our missions. Ryan is happy he has someone to cheer with him!

My boys are addicted to two things (besides otter pops) Rocky and the accappella group Inside Out. They constantly ask to listen to the Rocky soundtracks while jumping on my bed and they watch you-tube videos of it. And we always have Inside Out on in the car, even Seth demands it. Trey knows every word of the whole CD. I have to say, the CD is very fun, we just bought another one.

Justin constantly eats peanut butter on a spoon, several spoonfuls a day!

Trey is reading on his own! Yeah! He's reading those Magic Treehouse books, and he loves them. Thanks for the idea Amber!

I made a chore chart for my two oldest boys and they are actually doing chores every day! YES!! It's working and I'm thrilled.

Whenever Justin wants something, he'll bribe me to give him what he wants. It's hillarious. He'll always say, "Please mama, I'll give you 100 ______" (fill in the blank). It's usually either M&M's or dollars.

Angels Camp

We went to Angels Camp, California this week with just my little family. We hardly ever go somewhere with just us, and it was great. We always travel to see family, which I love, but this is nice too. But man it's hard traveling with small children! There is so much work, before, during, and after! But it was worth it.

Angels Camp is about 2 hours east of where I live. It's a gold rush history area. We stayed in a time share resort. The pools were the best part, that's what my boys wanted to do. But anyone who knows us well, knows that when we travel, my kids get sick! Particularly Justin!!! So of course, I pack my whole medicine cabinet so that I'm prepared, but I wasn't prepared this time. We got there Sunday evening and by Monday morning Justin was wheezing bad and having trouble breathing. He hasn't had asthma problems in years, he did as a baby, but he's been fine. So I have a bunch of medication at home that never gets used. We had to get his doctor to transfer perscriptions over to us and we paid $200 on things we have at home! But of course it was worth it, it was a little scary watching him breath so fast. Once he got the meds in him though, he did much better and we were able to have a nice trip after that. Thank goodness! Of course we had some cranky kids at times and tantrums, more than normal, but I guess that's expected when the kids are out of their schedules.

Tuesday we went to Calaveras Big Trees State Park. It was amazing! They had a perfect path for us and our stroller and the boys loved the gigantic sequoia trees. I put a ton of pictures in, I didn't leave many out. I didn't want to.

We're standing on a tree stump, it's huge!

We did this a lot, looking up at the tall tall trees. It's kind of what I have to do when I kiss Ryan!

Seth is my biggest wonderer. My other boys didn't do that so much, they stayed by me much more. Seth just goes off wherever.

It looks like Ryan is standing between two huge dinasaur legs!

We rarely ever get a whole family shot, but a nice passer-byer offered to take a picture for us.

Each of the boys, including Ryan, picked out walking sticks, which were occasionally used as hitting and poking sticks.

This was my favorite spot in the whole park. A perfect place to take in the tall views. I wish all benches were made like this one. It would be a great place for a nap, very comfortable!

Some of these trees were, I don't know, I can't remember very well now, but maybe 1400 years old! This one had fallen over and was decaying away and you could walk through it.

That whole day was so fun! It was the ideal day, in my opinion. We spent the morning and into the afternoon at the big tree park. Then off to a park for a bit for the boys to play around. Then to the local pizza parlor, then back to the resort for swimming. And it had been a hot day, so the pool was nice and warm. Ahhh, it was so great. By far the best day we had there.

The next day was good, but not as good. Swimming and a tour of an old deserted rail station, literally, no one was there! It was like a ghost town! My boys most enjoyed the train table in the gift shop! And it was hot.

We went and saw Mark Twain's cabin. He lived there in a small cabin for a couple years, pretty cool. And it was tiny. Here are the picts.

Seth kept trying to give the donkey his pacifier, it was funny. And I think he/she would have taken it if I'd of let him give it.

The boys on the way home, they were pooped!

Life Part II

So of course I was feeling way better this morning, but it didn't take long for life to happen again and to get frustrated again. But I did remember the original feelings that I was having that made me write in my blog yesterday. It just seems like someone is ALWAYS crying! And I get tired of it. But really what's new? That pretty much is the story of my life, and everyone who is reading this is experiencing the same thing, with small children. So you just hope that the sweet moments outweigh and help you forget the tough ones.

For example, today (and most days) the 3 boys love to jump on my bed (that's okay with me as long as everyone is happy) and rock out to the Beach Boys. Or when Justin comes to me while I'm in the shower and tells me he got an owie, but that he's okay. Or how so many times when Justin or Seth leave the room, they blow me kisses. Or how at the end of prayers in my house Seth claps, and he does it at church too while everyone else is silent! Or when Justin does something bad, he then says, "Just kidding!" As if that makes it okay. Or my last example happened the other day when Justin slammed the back sliding door on Seth's finger and so we had a little talk about that not being okay to do. He looked at me and said, "We'll just buy him a new one!"

Those moments make everything okay, in fact way more than okay, great! This morning Seth was really fussy and crying a lot and Trey said to him, "Oh Seth, life is just so hard, isn't it!" I just chuckled inside.

One more thing, recently I watched this video and it made me realize how easy and blessed my life is. Not that I don't know that already, but it's a nice reminder. WATCH IT...it's great. Here's the link...www.lds.org. Scroll down to the videos and watch, "My New Life". You won't regret it.

Life

Life is hard. Life is so hard. I always post things that are generally fun, or cute, or happy, or crazy, but today I'm going to write about how sometimes life is hard. I realize as I get older that I am so imperfect, especially as a mother. I feel that motherhood is one of the most noble callings you can have, and sometimes I feel like I'm just screwing it up. Not always, just sometimes. Maybe it's the stage we're in right now, 3 boys, I don't know, but some days are tough. Today we all went to Target and everyone was staring at us. Seth would not stop screaming, he was mad because I had him locked in the cart. It was one of those extra long carts with two seats in front. And Seth wanted to get in and out and in and out. Well that doesn't work when we're trying to move. I was so frustrated, I just ignored him and kept shopping. People were staring at us so much, I felt like yelling at them! I don't want to be stared at, no matter what my kids are doing! Haven't you ever seen a mad kid before?! Finally, I decided he maybe just needed some mommy time, so I bent down and nestled my face next to his and he stopped. He was calm for the first time in a long time. We kept our faces hugging together for a few minutes, and then he was okay. And then my sweet Trey hopped in the seat next to him and said, "what will make Seth happy?" And he started playing little games with him and Seth stayed happy the rest of the shopping trip.

Earlier today we went to swim lessons for the first time this summer. Justin has been talking about swim lessons for several days and he's been so excited to wear his new goggles. So we got to swim lessons and he's freaking out and doesn't want to get in. He's pulling on me and crying. A friend came and took Seth so I could help Justin and I picked him up and he was kicking and screaming and his swim teacher came and got him and he was still kicking and within a minute, he was smiling and laughing and loving it.

We have so many episodes like these throughout each day. And it wears on me. We go form good to bad and bad to good in seconds! And so does my temperment and mood sometimes!Some days I'm better at staying calm and patient, and other days I'm not. I literally have my hands full so much. I will have Seth in my arms while holding Justin's hand who is using me for stability. Sometimes I feel like I have 2 toddlers. Justin will be 5 next month, but seems much younger. Justin has special needs. He has spino cerebellar ataxia. His cerebellum is smaller than normal which affects his motor skills all the way around. Coordination, balance, muscle strength, speech and much more are all difficult for him. I can't even explain how often I see other kids and am amazed at their abilities. When they are perfectly normal, but my perception is a little warped. I wish so much for my little Justin that he could have a body that worked normal. Where he could run and speak clearly and do all of the other things that comes so naturally to others. I know someday he'll have a perfect body, which gives me great comfort.

Another part of life that is hard is that we often have scares with Justin. His whole life has been a struggle, from early on. He was literally always sick the first two years of his life. He didn't crawl until 14 months and didn't walk until he was 2. His eyes were crossed and he had to get surgery to fix them, and also get tubes in his ears. The crossed eyes were a blessing in disguise because then we found out that he had bad vision, so he started wearing glasses at the age of 18 months. He had a grand mal seizure a month before he turned 2 years old and had to be life flighted to Primary Children's Hospital from Bear Lake where we were having a family reunion. He had another grand mal seizure the next day. He went on anti-seizure medication at that time and has been way better with the seizures. A few months after he turned 2 years old, his immune system turned around and all of a sudden he was Mr. Healthy. He wasn't hardly sick anymore, it was the most wonderful thing. We could actually keep plans and he was able to make so much more progress without being so sick.

So ever since that point, 2 and a half years ago, life has been better. But we still have Justin scares. Every time I think things are good and there is smooth sailing, something happens with him and it gets me all nervous again. And I realize how fragile life is. Lately he's been having weird eye problems. Where his eyes rapidly go back and forth or up and down. At first it scared him, but now he thinks it's sort of funny. But I still don't like it, it scares me. This post has turned into a Justin post. I've been meaning to post about him and a little bit of his history, so I guess that was part of it.

I don't really even have a point to this post and it's so random, but I just needed to vent a bit. It helps me feel better. Maybe my need to vent also has a little to do with the fact that today is the second day without Ryan, he's traveling for work. And Seth has been so so clingy the last few days, I can't even leave the room in my own house without him crying. And Justin has had diareah for, let's see, how many days now, like 6 days now! Yea, maybe those things have a little bit to do with it. Life is not perfect, and neither am I. But I am trying. Life is hard, but life is good.

Gross!

Today we were at Trey's baseball game and Justin told me he had to go potty. So we went into the restrooms. They are disgusting and stinky and I would never want him to sit on the toilet seat in there. But conveniently they had a urinal. Justin's a little too short so I had to lift him up and I thought this was the perfect plan to avoid all the germs. Well, as I'm lifting him up and he's doing his thing, Seth comes along and spits his pacifier into the urinal while Justin is doing his thing. Let me just say, gross!